15 Signs You Are In A Toxic Relationship
Consider yourself lucky if you never burn a bridge. Every relationship has the potential to thrive or die. Whether it is between siblings, friends, co-workers, or spouses, you may end up in a toxic relationship. To prevent a toxic relationship from taking over your life, you need to be able to recognize the signs of a toxic relationship and assess whether they can be fixed. In couples therapy, the first step toward reconciliation is acknowledging your mistakes. It takes two people to end a relationship and two people to rebuild it.
Start with yourself because you cannot change another person. Learn about the things you can change, such as your attitude and your efforts. Make an honest effort to build up the other person and see if change happens. Give it some time and keep pushing as much as you can. However, if you have done all you can and feel that the following toxic symptoms are still present, it may be worth taking a step back or seeking professional help and advice. To see if the relationship can be repaired or not.
01. Feeling One-Sided
Do you feel like you’re constantly giving and getting nothing in return? Perhaps you should evaluate if you are the go-to person when it comes to being together. Try keeping your distance for a week and see if the other person contacts you instead. If you never received a text or call, it’s very likely that your relationship is one-sided, which means that the other person may not have been as invested as you are. While you don’t have to end the relationship completely, it’s good to know when you need to take a step back. Maybe give yourself a break and invest in other, more productive relationships.
02. No Confidence
Maybe you’re the open book type who always wears your heart on your sleeve. You’re not hiding anything and you’re not afraid to hang up all your dirty clothes. However, if you press pause and realize that the other party never reciprocates this level of openness, you may begin to feel that this person may not trust you with their secrets. Or maybe you are someone who does not trust the other party at all. These are all signs of a rocky relationship that lacks trust, in the sense that one party cannot trust the other.
03. Judgment Is Constantly Being Made
If you feel that no matter what you say to someone, they will come back to you with something superior or judgmental to say, then you probably need to make a new friend. It’s totally okay to be brutally honest with your closest friends, but when you’re constantly checking up on someone, it becomes condescending and disrespectful. You should be able to share your deepest, darkest secrets with a good friend, without judgment or contempt. Plus, it’s exhausting to be around someone who you can never keep up with because their standards are so high.
04. Lie, Lie, Lie
We all like to exaggerate a little bit here and there, but if you have a friend who constantly tells you things that don’t quite add up, he probably needs to be called a pathological liar or make some new friends. Why anyone would lie about anything is a huge mystery to solve, so don’t beat yourself up. You have to be able to take what someone says at face value, and lying to them is like exploitation.
05. It’s Draining
No relationship thrives on negativity. If your parents are right about anything, it’s the fact that you can really become more like the people you hang out with. If you are always around a negative person, you will also start to stumble. Negative people love to gossip and find fault with everyone and everything around them. If you feel you have the emotional capacity to help a friend, try to encourage them to be more positive. However, if you find that you don’t make much of a difference, maybe it’s time to find new friends before you start being a Debbie Downer too.
There are some situations where competition is a healthy trait. Take Olympic training or academics for example. However, when it comes to a casual relationship, too much competition can be detrimental. Have you ever met someone who was always trying to outdo or outdo you? It can be more than small things like clothes, finances or skills. Competitive people are always trying to prove something and usually at someone else’s expense. They usually associate themselves with those they consider inferior as a way of boosting their self-esteem. If you know someone like this, avoid falling prey to their little mind games.
07. Lack Of Support
When you’re trying to accomplish something worthwhile, it’s good to have good friends who support you and push you towards your goals. Also, when you’re feeling down, you should be able to count on a good friend for some words of encouragement. Sure, some people aren’t a great motivator but that shouldn’t be an excuse to be a bad friend. It doesn’t take much effort to show someone you care or wish them the best. You don’t expect them to be mind readers and know exactly the right words to say to make you feel better. It’s really the thought that counts.
08. Always A Victim
Have you ever met someone who always falls in love with the great schemes and motifs of the world? These people need to be pampered because they may have been a little spoiled. Everything is always someone else’s fault and you’re always trying to help them see the other side of the story. They somehow never understand the bigger picture, no matter how much you hold hands. Any advice you give a persistent victim can easily backfire on you if something goes wrong, and it always does. Better cut the umbilical cord so that person can grow some balls and face the real world like the rest of us.
09. They Are Flaky
So you made plans to spend New Year’s Eve together. You’ve completely cleared your schedule and turned down plans with other people because you’re committed. Then, on New Year’s Eve, you get a last-minute text that something has suddenly come up and you now have to spend your entire day home alone, maybe binging on Netflix instead. It’s pointless because it’s not the first time it’s happened, and you really should have seen it coming. Just as old habits die hard, weak people find it hard to stick, especially if you’re a close second.
A relationship does not have to be hostile in order to be toxic. Anger alone can cause a relationship to fall apart. An angry person can be very intimidating, especially when they are driving and suddenly going twenty miles an hour over the speed limit and yelling at other cars from behind the wheel. You have every right to be afraid because your life is literally in danger. It doesn’t take a genius to identify someone with an anger problem. It is highly unlikely that you will be able to do much to change this person. They need serious counsel or some kind of divine revelation to bring them together.
11. It Brings Out the Worst In You
The best example here is a husband who goes out for a few drinks with his friend, comes home, and suddenly performs a storm like Hurricane Andy. That’s when he’s with that one and only friend. We all have that friend who is usually a bad influence. However, if that friend is turning you into a very unlikable version of Godzilla, it’s time to start looking for new friends. Good friends are the people who bring out the best in you and inspire you to be a better person.
Consider yourself lucky if you’ve never met someone so controlling that you feel suffocated. These people have very high standards that you will never be able to meet, yet they will continue to impose those standards on you. Whether it’s what you wear, how you talk, or how you spend your time, controlling people has an interest in everything. Also, they don’t like it when you don’t agree with them and they expect you to comply with their every whim and opinion. Sometimes, their standards are so high that you can even consider them impressive. The best example of this is seen in Katie Holmes and her ex-husband (and devout Scientologist) Tom Cruise. Be careful not to become a victim of being trapped by a controlling person.
I know of no worse way to feel than to be publicly humiliated or humiliated. When someone won’t stop calling you names or trying to make you look stupid in front of others, it’s downright insulting. You are treated worse than a child because even parents keep discipline behind closed doors. No matter how serious your insult, no one should criticize you openly. And if you’re used to talking that way, it’s time to grow a spine and stand up for yourself. Acknowledge what he said, condemn him, and make it clear that you are not willing to be a victim of his verbal abuse.
14. Walking On Eggshells
We’ve all met someone we had to slowly get our way around. They are like a ticking time bomb. Say the wrong thing and you’ll shut him down. So instead, you always feel like you’re walking on eggshells with them, trying not to push the wrong buttons or say the wrong things. No one likes to be in a relationship where they can’t be themselves and freely say what’s on their mind. An uncomfortable relationship will not develop in a healthy direction. Instead, this type of relationship is filled with fear and control, and will eventually come to an end.
15. The Bad Outweighs The Good
No relationship is perfect because people are imperfect. Every healthy relationship is full of ups and downs. However, healthy relationships thrive more on good relationships than on bad ones. This does not mean that you ignore any arguments you have. It is still very important and needs to be worked on. However, the point is that you had enough good times to make up for the bad times. If you find that the rocks in your relationship are starting to build up a little too much, try to create more quality time by going on fun dates and vacations together. If you feel like your efforts to make up for all the bad things you have aren’t doing much, it might be a good idea to take a break so you can bring back the good things in you. Before a negative relationship ruins your life.